written by C. W. Kalb, Jr.3/24/06INTRO: F-C-D F-C-G F-C-D F-C-GGWell out in the country we didn't have morturariesCAnd so it was always customaryG A7 DFor the undertaker to do his job and lay yer kin out right there at homeGYeah the church would lend you foldin' chairsCAnd you'd have visitation and everything right thereGBut when the nighttime come you'd have to sit up with the deadD INTRO'Cause it wasn't right to leave 'em aloneGWell the last time I sat up was '65CWhen my old arthritic Uncle Fred diedG A7 DHe was ninety-seven and so stooped over the mortician couldn't straighten him outG CThey used a loggin' chain down, covered that all up with a cape and a gownGAnd didn't tell nobody in the familyD INTRO'Cause that's the kind of stuff folks just don't wanna know aboutG (let ring) F-C-DWell we were all sittin' there, it was 3 in the mornin'G (let ring) F-C-DAnd then there come up a cloud of thunder lightnin' and stormin'GWell that lightnin' flashed and that thunder clappedCAnd that chain 'round old Uncle Fred went snapD N/CAnd rattled and fell to the floor with a thump and Uncle Fred just stay right up (Yeeoowww!)CHORUS:G C F-CAnd I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more, I don't know 'bout youG D Dsus4-DNo I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more, no matter what you say or doGThey say the dead can't hurt ya 'cause they already leftCBut what they left can sure make you hurt yourselfG EmAnd I ain't sittin' up with the dead no moreC D INTROSince the dead started sittin' up tooGWell when Uncle Fred sat up so did everyone thereCAnd there came a great partin' of the foldin' chairsGAnd that preacher nearly knocked me down, he saidA7 D"Ohhh I'm headin' out that kitchen door!"GI hollered "Rev that kitchen ain't got a door in it!"CHe said "Don't worry son, it will have in a minute"G D INTROAnd I ain't never seen so much jumpin' and shovin' beforeGAnd then somebody stepped on the old cat's tailCAnd he let out a scream, a screech, a wailG A7 DAnd to say the least that howl didn't help to calm the situation downGAnd then that lightnin' flashed and that house went blackCAnd I spoke to my feet and said "boys make tracks!"G D INTROAnd I went through that screen door lickity-split for timeG (let ring) F-C-DWell I cut through the cemetary, fell in a holeG (let ring) F-C-DIt was Uncle Fred's grave and it was dark and coldGYeah the town drunk dug it and he dug it too deepCAnd unbeknownst to me he was still in there asleepDAnd I'm scratchin' and jumpin' tryin' to get outta that holeN/CAnd he woke up and said "You might as well come over here and sit down beside me, boyN/C'Cause you ain't gettin' outta here tonight"N/CBut I did!CHORUSSPOKEN OVER INTRO:Wasn't no sense in nobody sittin' up with Uncle Fred anyhow!Uncle Fred gon' be done sittin' up with his own self!Next time I'm just gonna send flowers!Yeah
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