The song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uB2ns7sT8ww&t=91s
No capo needed, standard tuning
All chords used: C F D G Cm G# Fm C# A#
D: = Dodger M: = Mark
C F
Chapter 54, page one hundred and five
D G
Create a hellhound antidote and keep your victim alive
C F
It says to cover one eyeball and... the other one too
G
D: What for?
C
That's what the book says to do
C F
We'll need a pile of raisins and a magical word
D G
I like to use the term "Linguine" 'cause it's pretty absurd
C F
And once we've found ourselves some raisins, pour them into a shoe
G C
Then flick your ear - that's what the book says to do!
F C
We have to iron a cactus, stick a bee up your nose
G C
And then we'll eat a plate of flapjacks, draw some faces on toes
F D
We'll all hold hands until they're sweaty, we'll pretend we can fly
G
And if we don't - we'll die! (I made that part up.)
(Here, hold this! M: It looks diseased)
C F
Now you take a creepy baby doll and shake it all around
D G
Then you shriek like a weasel while you flail on the ground
C F
And once we've done that for two hours, throw that baby down the stairs
G C
Then we'll hit each other with metal chairs
C F
D: I'm having second guesses about this spell-casting stuff
D
M: Okay, I found a couple tutus...
G
That's not nearly enough!
C F
Next we'll scatter someone's ashes as we throw a parade
G C
And then we'll sit and have a séance while we're playing Old Maid
C
Wear a big hat
F
Drink from this jar
D G
M/D: None of this song makes sense so far (I hope I have some chickens left!)
Cm
M: I don't know what he's up to, but it's certainly weird
G# G
D: He keeps asking for toenails M: And a leprechaun beard!
Cm
D: I don't think we should trust him, he's completely insane
G# G
M: And all the nonsense we're doing seems expressly inane
Fm
D: We should totally kill him! M: Yeah, it seems like you're right
C#
D: I mean, he looks pretty puny...
C
M: Won't be much of a fight
F#
D: We can sneak up behind him! M: Drive a stake through his heart!
C
D: Do your worst!
C
M: Ladies first!
C# C
M/D: If you won't impale him, then Enis will start a new verse!
[Kazoo solo]
F A# G C F A# C F
A# F
We've gotta whittle a pickle, eat some parmesan cheese
C
and then we'll all watch a movie
F
"OH NO NOT THE BEES"
A#
And next we take out the garbage
F
Summon hellbeasts from space
G
And then, when the portal closes pull his sleeve up to expose his
C
wounded arm and kiss your friend's dead face!
F
Let's expel our space-bound hellbeasts
A#
And we'll take out the trash
G
We'll watch a flick and eat some cheese
C
And cut a pickle and dash
F
Inside to play kazoo and wear a hat
A#
Use metal chairs like baseball bats
G A# F D
And flail and fly and paint all your toes
G A# F D
We'll eat some flapjacks and stick bees in your no- uh, never mind
G
We'll grab a shoe to fill with snacks
C
and flick your ear with sneak attacks
and scream "Linguine!" to the max
F
so here it goes!
Source: https://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/tab/random_encounters/resident_enis_halloween_song_chords_1961333