National Lampoon - Kung Fu Christmas

      [Intro]
Cmaj9
Dm7/G
Cmaj9
Fmaj7 Em7 Dm7

[Verse 1]
Cmaj9         Dm7/G
Midnight in a ghetto street
Cmaj9                 Dm7/G
A desperate boy wants something to eat ('Cause he's dead on his feet)
       Cmaj9                      Dm7/G
To the man in the squad car, it's just his beat
Em7       Fmaj7    Fmaj9      Dm7/G
(He don't care, he don't live there
            Cmaj9
He lives in Queens
                              Fmaj7 Em7 Dm7
Not Manhattan or the Bronx or Brook-lyn)
Cmaj9                  Dm7/G
A thief on the roof, a mugger in the hall (Stick 'em up, Stick 'em up)
Cmaj9                      Dm7/G
A baby on the floor eating paint off the wall (How's he gonna grow tall?)
Cmaj9                             Dm7/G
But there's one time of year that brings joy to one and all
      Em7   Fmaj7      Fmaj9        Dm7/G
(When every race has a smile on its face)

[Chorus 1]
Fmaj7                     G/F
Junkie on the corner, the pusher uptown
Em7                           Am
Digging the Yuletide, Santa's getting down
Fmaj7             G/F
Holiday colors of red and green
Em7                          Am
Turkey's big and fat and the gangsta lean
Fmaj7          G/F
Numbers runner stops for a chat
Em7        Am      Fmaj7                   Dm7/G
The Apollo doorman tips his hat and he says:
               Cmaj9
Have a Kung Fu Christmas
               Fmaj7 Em Dm7
Have a Kung Fu Christma-as, ooh

[Verse 2]
Cmaj9                     Dm7/G
Living in the ghetto, you always lose
Cmaj9                                         Dm7/G
They'll shoot you for your socks, and they'll stick you for your shoes
              Cmaj9                   Dm7/G
When you're a super bad dude, you pay super bad dues
       Em7      Fmaj7       Fmaj9  Dm7/G
(Where fear and strife is a way of life)
              Cmaj9                 Dm7/G
But there's a man coming today with lots of loot
           Cmaj9                     Dm7/G
He's got a pimp-mo sleigh, a red and white fur suit
       Cmaj9                   Dm7/G
He's a Super Fly guy, and he's awful cute
      Em7      Fmaj7            Fmaj9       Dm7/G
(He's about to arrive, bringing Jingle Bell jive)

[Chorus 2]
Fmaj7                  G/F
Santa Claus making the Soul Train scene
Em7                          Am
Slicking down his beard with Afro Sheen
Fmaj7          G/F
Eeny meeny and miney mo
Em7                    Am
Frost in your hair and snow up your nose
Fmaj7                G/F
Diamond in the back, trimmed with holly
Em7                            Am
My girls on the street and I'm feeling jolly
Fmaj7                           G/F
Christmas Eve's coming with the last-minute bustle
Em7                                 Am
Santa tells the elves, "You'd better do The Hustle"