National Lampoon - Deteriorata

      [Intro]
N.C.
You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here.
F#5    G5 F# F#     G5 F#
Deteriorata. Deteriorata.
G, D7sus4/G, G, D7sus4/G

[Verse 1]
G
 Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
D7sus4/G                                          C
 And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
                        Am
Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep.
D
 Rotate your tires.
      Em
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself,
              C
And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
D
 Know what to kiss, and when.
Am                                        Em Am
 Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do.
             C
Wherever possible, put people on hold.
            D
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
G
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
                      D7sus4/G
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.

[Chorus 1]
          F             C
You are a fluke of the universe
             D
You have no right to be here
                    A#
And whether you can hear it or not,
    A           G                     E
The universe is laughing behind your back

[Verse 2]
F         C
  Remember The Pueblo.
          D                                 A#
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate.
A              G                             E
 Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
                                        G
Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially with those persons closest to you -
D7sus4/G
 That lemon on your left, for instance.
C                                            Am
 Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet.
D                                                 Em
Fall not in love therefore. It will stick to your face.
                                          C
Gracefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan.
   D
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Am
 Hire people with hooks.
Em                Am            C
 For a good time, call 606-4311. Ask for Ken.
                                              D
Take heart in the bedeepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese.
G
 And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot,
           D7sus4/G
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.

[Chorus 2]
          F             C
You are a fluke of the universe (You are a fluke of the universe)
             D
You have no right to be here (You have no right to be here)
                    A#
And whether you can hear it or not, (And whether you can hear it or not)
    A           G                     E
The universe is laughing behind your back (The universe is laughing behind your back)

[Verse 3]
F            C
  Therefore, make peace with your god,
                              D                              A#
Whatever you perceive him to be - hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.
A                        G                        E
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
    E
The world continues to deteriorate.
N.C.
Give up!

[Chorus]
          F             C
You are a fluke of the universe
             D
You have no right to be here
                    A#
And whether you can hear it or not,
    A           G                     E
The universe is laughing behind your back (repeat to fade)