Loudon Wainwright III - Good Ship Venus

      [Intro]
G C G D G 


[Verse 1]
G
  On the good ship Venus
   G
By Christ, you should have seen us
    C                G
The figurehead was a whore in bed
   G      D          G
Sucking a dead man's penis


[Verse 2]
    G
The captain's name was Lugger
   G
By Christ, he was a bugger
   C             G
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
     G        D   G
From one ship to another


[Instrumental]
F C G
F C G


[Verse 3]
(faster)
        G
And the second mate was Andy
   G
By Christ, he had a dandy
          C                     G
Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock
    G       D      G
For cumming in the brandy


[Verse 4]
    G
The third mate's name was Morgan
   G
By God, he was a gorgon
     C                  G
From half past eight he played till late
 G       D         G
Upon the captain's organ


[Instrumental]
G C G D G


[Verse 5]
    G
The captain's wife was Mabel
    G
And by God, was she able
   C                   G
To give the crew their daily screw
 G       D      G
Upon the galley table


[Verse 6]
    G
The captain's daughter Charlotte
    G
Was born and bred a harlot
    C                    G
Her thighs at night were lily white
   G       D         G
By morning they were scarlet


[Instrumental]
F C G 
F C G 


[Verse 7]
(original tempo)
    G
The cabin boy was Kipper
   G
By Christ, he was a nipper
   C                    G
He stuffed his ass with broken glass
    G     D         G
And circumcised the skipper


[Verse 8]
    G
The captain's lovely daughter
      G
Liked swimming in the water
  C                    G
Delighted squeals came when some eels
G         D      G
Found her sexual quarters


[Instrumental]
(faster)
G C G D G


[Verse 9]
    G
The cook, his name was Freeman
       G
And he was a dirty demon
       C               G
And he fed the crew on menstrual stew
    G      D        G
And hymens fried in semen


[Verse 10]
        G
And the ship's dog was called Rover
       G
And we turned the poor thing over
    C                      G
And ground and ground that faithful hound
     G     D       G
From   Teneriff to Dover


[Instrumental]
F C G
F C G


[Verse 11]
(original tempo)
G
When we reached our station
        G
Through skillful navigation
    C                  G
The ship got sunk in a wave of spunk
     G        D    G
From too much fornication


[Verse 12]
G
On the good ship Venus
   G
By Christ, you should have seen us
    C                G
The figurehead was a whore in bed
   G      D          G
Sucking a dead man's penis


[Outro]
(faster)
G C G D G